Wackiest Stories of Year incl. Happiest Place on Earth (if you don't like kids)

Wackiness in the world of travel, tourism tempered 2008's chaos
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By MICHAEL PRECKER / Special Contributor to The Dallas Morning News


Is there any way to remember this travel year fondly?

The 12 months about to end brought us economic calamity, $4 gasoline, infuriating airline surcharges and perpetual airport chaos. Worst of all, 2008 brought the dreadful pseudo-word staycation (sorry, we'll never use it again) into the language.

This is a lot to overcome, but we'll try in the traditional way: by dredging up weird and wacky tales from the world of travel – and being thankful that none of them happened to us.


Watch the road, not the screen

A driver and his two passengers in southern Poland were rescued from the roof of their submerged minivan after he followed directions from his GPS – and drove into a lake. Piotr Smolen, the police spokesman in Glubczyce, said the driver was on a road that was flooded a year earlier to make a water reservoir. "He ignored three road signs warning of a dead end," Mr. Smolen reported. "His GPS told him to drive straight ahead and he did."


Thank goodness it wasn't a carry-on

Delta passengers landing in Atlanta got an unusual excuse for not getting their luggage promptly: A cheetah was roaming the cargo hold. An airline spokeswoman said two cheetahs were being flown from Portland, Ore., to Atlanta when one escaped from its cage. The plane was towed to a hangar, where Zoo Atlanta experts tranquilized the animal. Delta said no luggage was damaged.


Don't go there, girlfriend

•China is trying to attract visitors to the earthquake-ravaged Sichuan province by crafting an "experimental tourist zone" that includes ruins, memorials and a museum.

•The Shady Lady Ranch, a legal brothel in Beatty, Nev., fought back against high fuel prices by offering a $50 gas voucher to cover travel expenses from Las Vegas.

•A private company in Colombia opened to tourists the 3,700-acre ranch that was once the opulent playground of murderous drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.

•A new fast-food restaurant in Beirut called Buns and Guns features sandbags, weapons, chefs in military fatigues and menu items named "terrorist meal" and "Kalashnikov."

•A group of German government officials touring a memorial museum that was once a prison run by the nefarious East German Stasi secret police was locked in by mistake at the end of the day.

•A man sued Jet Blue Airways for making him stay in the bathroom during part of a New York to San Diego flight because there were no other seats.


Step this way, please

A performer with the renowned Alvin Ailey dance troupe danced his way out of trouble at Israel's Ben-Gurion International Airport after his Muslim name attracted suspicion. Abdur-Rahim Jackson said he was briefly detained after arriving in Israel on tour with the troupe. The airport is known for strict security, with extra scrutiny for Arabs and Muslims in a country that is a frequent terrorist target. An Israeli newspaper said Mr. Jackson, who did not file a complaint, quickly solved the problem. "I demonstrated a few dance steps and after another round of questioning they let me go and join the rest of the group," he said.


Tower of Pisa falls (to second place)

The Dutch town of Bedum is claiming to have the most steeply leaning tower in Europe. Retired geometrician Jacob van Dijk said measurements show that a church tower in the town leans more than its Italian rival, which lost part of its tilt after restoration work. Pisa's tower leans more because it is taller, but Mr. van Dijk says Bedum's angle makes it the champ. "In Italy they're happy with the result, but here in Bedum we are much more happy," he said.



You'll have to check those at the door, sir

Beijing's famous Forbidden City opened a Web site to give online visitors a chance to wander through a 3-D version of the vast imperial palace. To enhance the experience, virtual tourists adopt one of nine historical figures. One of the avatars is labeled "imperial servant," who carries out many important roles in the court life of the Qing dynasty. But that title is a euphemism, conceded Paula Baker of IBM, which developed the project. "One of the costumes you can choose is a eunuch," she explained.


For some Brits, it's always spring break

The mayor of Malia, on the Greek island of Crete, demanded that the British government do something about the rowdy, drunken behavior of tourists from the United Kingdom. "They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit," Mayor Konstantinos Lagoudakis said. "It's only the British people – not the Germans or the French." His comments reflected the frustration of many Mediterranean resorts unhappy with their British visitors. The British newspaper Daily Telegraph reported that the local consulate is responding with posters warning against bad behavior.


Drunken Brits won't care, anyway

The Toronto Star reported that Jazz, an Air Canada regional affiliate, would remove commercial life vests from its planes to reduce weight and thus save fuel. Canadian regulations allow airlines to rely on seat cushions as flotation devices if they remain 40 miles inland.


If oil prices go back up ...

Could this phony news story from The Onion come true?

Cash-strapped American Airlines announced a new series of fees this week that will apply to all customers not currently flying, scheduled to fly, or even thinking about flying aboard the commercial carrier.

"Tough times unfortunately mean tough measures," American Airlines president Gerard Arpey said. "We hope all Americans will understand this when receiving one of our new bills in the mail."

Arpey said that non-passengers of American Airlines should expect to pay a small fee when making Greyhound bus reservations, choosing to drive to their final destination, or simply being a citizen of the United States with a valid Social Security number.


'Why we're late' excuses of the year

•A Delta flight to Melbourne, Fla., couldn't land until airport crews removed four walking catfish, two gopher tortoises, a blue indigo snake and an alligator from the runway. Experts said they were fleeing floodwaters from Tropical Storm Fay.

•A Viking Airlines flight from Britain to Greece carrying too much weight taxied back to the gate and asked for 70 volunteers to get off. When the 150 passengers refused, the ground crew warned that the luggage would be left behind. They still refused, the flight left several hours late and the BBC reported that some bags took four days to get to Greece.

•A dormitory elevator at the University of Texas got stuck when 26 teenage girls attending a cheerleading camp crammed into the small space and the doors wouldn't open. A repairman freed them a half-hour later. One girl fainted, but the rest were OK.


Here's a hot travel destination

Seventeen Russian tourists visiting a health resort in the Caucasus spa town of Yessentuki were hospitalized after a nurse used hydrogen peroxide instead of water to give them enemas. Sources at the spa explained that water and hydrogen peroxide look the same.


The Happiest Place on Earth (if you don't like kids)


Victoria & Albert's, the fanciest restaurant at Disney World, banned children younger than 10 from chowing down with grown-ups paying $125 and up for a meal. "We want to be the restaurant that's available for that adult experience," said Israel Perez, general manager of the hoity-toity eatery at the Grand Floridian Resort & Spa.


Cutting back service

The Image Hotel in Marmaris, a town on Turkey's Mediterranean coast, fired all of its male employees for repeatedly having affairs with foreign female guests. Manager Pelin Yucel said her 27-room hotel now employs only women. "We had been facing the same problem every year but after the last incident we decided to run the hotel by only female staff," she said.


Just when you thought the beach was safe

Catholic nuns and priests in Italy followed their flocks to the seashore over the summer with makeshift houses of worship including cabins, tents and a 100-foot-long inflatable church. The church included a chamber for confession. "The concept of a beach-convent is something that is appreciated by vacationers and the nuns themselves," said priest Antonio Rungi, one of the clerics behind the effort.


Critter stories of the year

•South Africa's Robben Island Museum, famed as the site where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned, was closed temporarily because it was overrun with rabbits.

•The Polish town of Radkow is paying a chimpanzee named Bobby about $100 a month to be a "Tourism Promotions Inspector" by appearing with a sign on his back advertising a local attraction called Monkey Rock.

•A Japanese train company whose Kishikawa line was losing money boosted ridership by posting a cat named Tama at the entrance to the station. Tama, who wears a black cap and poses for photos, has become a local celebrity. "She never complains, even though passengers touch her all over the place," said spokeswoman Yoshiko Yamaki.


A niiiiiiiiice place to visit?

Kazakhstan tourism officials reported that the country enjoyed a modest increase in tourism as a result of the movie Borat, which viciously lampooned the country. Although Kazakhstan initially denounced the salacious satire, Kenzhebay Satzhanov, deputy chairman of the tourism and sports ministry, said, "It was free-of-charge advertising, and lots of people want to come and see our country."


Save money – fight at home

A British pollster revealed that 81 percent of French couples fight while on vacation, tops among seven nations surveyed. Other results included Spanish couples, 79 percent; Germans, 67 percent; British and Polish, 60 percent; and Italians, 55 percent. Swedes rated as the most agreeable vacationers with only 38 percent reporting a quarrel.


Always pack your lifesaving lingerie

A woman hiking in the Bavarian Alps who fell and was stranded on a rocky ledge for three days was rescued after she used her sports bra to summon help. Although Jessica Bruinsma of Colorado Springs, Colo., was badly injured, she managed to reach a cable used to transport timber down the mountain and attach her bra to it. When it reached the base camp, lumberjacks alerted search teams. "She's a very smart girl," police officer Lorenz Rasp said. "She kept her shirt and jacket for warmth, but thought the sports bra could work as a signal."



Travel advice for 2009

•Johns Hopkins University researchers concluded that driving behind trucks carrying crates of live chickens may be hazardous to your health.

•A high school rowing coach in Arlington, Va., returning from a team trip was bitten by a rattlesnake that somehow got into his luggage (he's OK). The team Web site then warned team members, "It's advisable to open bags and unpack outdoors."

•Virginia City, Nev., where volunteers dress up as Old West gunslingers to pose with tourists, advised the re-enactors that it would strictly enforce prohibitions against drinking on the job and having bullets in the guns. "They want to drink and carry a gun and look like cowboys," Sheriff Jim Miller explained.