Still struggling and feeling a little frustrated..

Apparently, our Commander is on deck.

By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Warvan... you shall learn depth of field!

 

oh no.i'm gonna die, i'm crewman #6, i always die

 

Are you guys having fun?

Just checking.

 

Um.. can I digress from the wackiness for a moment? ; I want to try to say something and see if it resonates.

I want to say that this feeling of struggling and of being frustrated is the experience of being an artist.

I'm on the low end artistic side. ; I'll never be exhibited in fine galleries, I know it. ; But still I'm trying, I'm doing what I can, and I like to think I'm getting the artist's experience.

I used to have this impression of professional photographers being different than this. ; I used to assume that at some point you get your professional ID card and you just become one of "those" kinds of people. ; You just know your stuff, you know how to take pictures and you know what works and so on.

But from what I've read and seen.. that image seems completely wrong. ; I've read of pros getting together at weekend retreats to critique each other's work, apparently even at that level they still need the input of others.

Or, on a quite different direction.. I was kind of surprised to learn how much time movie directors spend testing out various versions of the movie to test audiences to see what parts worked and what parts didn't.

The point is that even those guys seem unable to predict how their work will be received, they still have to adjust what they do based on the reactions.

Once I realized this I have to say.. I felt a lot better. ; I feel like I'm experiencing a part of the artistic process. ; And it's kind of neat.

Incidentally this is also why I've sworn I will never attempt to go pro. ; I couldn't live like this. ; I need to be able to turn this off. ; I need to be able to put the camera down and walk away if it gets too hard to deal with. ; It's a lot easier when you can sample the experience recreationally. ; I still care about what I do, I intend to try to be the best photographer that I can be. ; But I have the luxury of having the only pressure that I operate under being self imposed.

 

Well....for me, I think it's about having a passion for something again. ; It's been a long time since I have cared enough about something I am doing to struggle or feel frustrated with it. ; I actually care enough about this, to want to be really good at it. ; No matter how long it takes.

I think I have an artistic side, that I've never really nourished or allowed to grow. ; It keeps trying to pop out..and in the daily grind and the push of responsibility, I constantly shove it aside and focus on things I consider more important. ; That isn't so for me, at present. ; Maybe it's that I'm in my mid-forties and my kids are getting older and I'm realizing that life doesn't last forever. ; Probably it's a culmination of a lot of life experiences in the last decade that have completely changed me. ; Or...maybe it's just life, interesting me again, in new and different ways.

I don't know, Dan...but it's fun to think about it. ; That's why I love your stream of consciousness posts. ; Because they're like a prism held up to a sunny window...with all sorts of facets to grab onto, if you wish.

So, yeah...it resonates.

 

If you do it right, it should take forever. Remember what Chiun, Master of Sinanju, once said:

"Perfection is a road, not a destination."

 

I like that quote very much, Will.